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Does life feel like a hard slog? 

Puzzled by some of your behaviours?

Anxiety through the roof?

Feeling stuck? Conflicted? Triggered?

Lost your joy or creativity?  Or have they always felt elusive?

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​Internal Family Systems (IFS) could be the missing piece.  It was for me and many of my clients. When you apply the IFS lens to your life, things soon make a lot of sense, providing enormous relief.

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As a trained IFS Therapist, and Integrative Counsellor, I am delighted to offer private sessions (online, phone or face-to-face in London SE23) to adults battling a wide range of issues around low self-esteem, inner conflict, chronic shame, bereavement, parenting, low fertility, a harsh inner-Critic, anxiety, depression, addictions, eating, mid-life, chronic indecisiveness, stifled/blocked creativity, problematic relationships, LGBTQ+, body dysmorphia and childhood trauma.  I am also experienced in supporting clients facing such issues with the backdrop of neurodiversity.

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"If it's in the way, it IS the way"

Frank Anderson, MD 

 

IFS effectively works through issues by getting to know all of the parts of you involved and then working respectfully with each of them to find another (less turbulent or self-destructive) way to go about life.  If you are new to IFS concepts you may be having an extreme reaction to my previous sentence but if you've ever said 'part of me wants to do X but part doesn't' that's what I'm talking about; the natural multiplicity of mind or sub-personalities in all of us who often have conflicting view points, and like to argue and debate about everything!  These inner-conflicts are where IFS really helps and where most difficulties (internally & externally) stem from.  The Pixar 'Inside out' films are based on the IFS model of mind and brilliantly depict these struggles. I highly recommend these films for any kids, teens  ('Inside Out 2' is especially helpful for teenagers) and adults struggling.   

"I'm a million different people from one day to the next...'

Bitter Sweet Symphony, The Verve

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Maybe you're considering therapy because you're already acutely aware of a part that's making life difficult? A harsh critic? An Angry part? A perfectionist? A judge? A rebel? A worrier? A rule-bound part? An overthinker? A people pleaser? Hypervigilant parts? Hedonistic parts? Addictive parts? Caretakers or rescuers?  So many possibilities that often show themselves somatically (through the body) too.  It is well documented that traumas are stored in our bodies and some clients find that some ailments ease up when the associated parts finally get their attention.   

 

'IFS recognises that the cultivation of mindful self-leadership is the foundation for healing from trauma'

Bessel Van Der Kolk, bestselling author of 'The Body Keeps the Score'

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As referenced above by Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk, Mindful Self-leadership is the main goal of IFS therapy. When you start IFS therapy you'll soon spot extreme parts that are triggered and blending with you (in the the driving seat) and impacting your relationships and/or your self-care.  You'll learn to pause, sit back and look after them from your naturally calm and compassionate place or Self and they'll start to trust they don't need to take over.  
 

IFS is an easily accessible and shame-reducing way for clients to understand themselves, their inner system and their contradictory ways.  Since most of our extreme parts are young and frozen in time, my experience of working with children has proved invaluable in earning their trust & putting these frightened and anxious parts at ease.  IFS work is completely collaborative and empowering for you with the emphasis on you gaining more access to your core wise and calm 'Self.'  You are the expert of your system, not me. I'd be your supportive, non-judgemental guide until you feel able to run the show independently.  I'll show you how.  Some people only require a few sessions to dramatically improve their quality of life so this type of therapy can be a good short-term option.  Those with more complex protective systems, can require longer but even a few sessions can make your outlook much more positive.  ​
 

"I think the first intrusion into one's own inner conflicts is not the most pleasant of experiences but working through them can really be one of the greatest adventures in life.  And it takes a certain amount of bravado and need and realisation that you're missing out on your own life!"  David Bowie

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These valiant but misguided protectors can prevent us knowing and achieving our heart's desires.  And reduce our connection with others by putting up defenses and hiding our vulnerabilities.  However, resisting any parts of ourselves causes a lot of our suffering and that's why a common IFS phrase is 'All parts are welcome!' and they really are.  Then we can get to know them, their fears and the origin of their extreme roles and perhaps relieve them of these.  Only when they feel ready. 

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"We often find that the harder we try to get rid of emotions and thoughts, the stronger they become" Dr Richard Schwartz 

 

Like many of my colleagues, IFS has become my most used and effective therapeutic tool. I suspect because of the level of clarity, self-awareness and relief it provides.  In IFS there is a clear path to uncovering the root causes of your suffering and behaviours and there are protocols to follow to resolve these.  It is all led by you, your wise 'Self', and is very respectful of all parts (we never do anything without the agreement of your whole system) so people often find they don't experience that common 'rawness' or 'backlash' after an intense therapy IFS session.  In fact, even when a lot of emotion is experienced during an IFS session (which is always welcome) clients usually report feeling lighter, more settled and empowered the following week.  In sessions there is often a lot of joy and laughter too when we meet your adorable young parts. 

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When I first heard Richard Schwartz explaining Internal Family Systems, I was instantly hooked and haven't stopped devouring every book, training and podcast possible ever since.  To enhance my IFS work I have additionally trained in 'Mindful Self-Compassion' (developed by Kristin Neff & Christopher Germer) which I find sits well with IFS and inner-critic work in particular. And I am currently training in 'Effortless Mindfulness' with Loch Kelly as I find his 'glimpses' very helpful for accessing and maintaining more Self. I wasn't suprised when I learned he is also an IFS therapist and trainer who works closely with Richard Schwartz.  I am looking forward to adding this dimension to my IFS Therapy offering.  

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It's important to find the right therapist for you. Please do feel free to contact me if you are curious about IFS and would like a free 15 minute chat to see if we are a good fit.

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IFS therapists are much in demand so if I don’t have availability I will do my best to find you suitable colleagues who do.  

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A few IFS links to get you started but there are so many so enjoy having a good explore:-

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What is IFS | IFS (internalfamilysystems.pt)

 

Dr. Richard Schwartz explains Internal Family Systems (IFS) 

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Internal Family Systems: How does IFS work? (welldoing.org)

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This Therapy Changed My Life And It Could Do The Same For You: Internal Family Systems with Dr Richard Schwartz - Dr Rangan Chatterjee (drchatterjee.com)

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Internal Family Systems Therapy | Psychology Today

 

Mindful Self-Compassion links:-

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Self-Compassion Practices: Cultivate Inner Peace and Joy - Self-Compassion

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Meditations and Practices – Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

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Effortless Mindfulness & IFS:-

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IFS Self and Effortless Mindfulness: Learn IFS Exercises​

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Richard C Schwartz IFS Podcast Interview About Authentic Self 

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